Friday, September 10, 2010

selamat hari raya~! eid ul-fitr~!

Hello candy!

About my raya! OMG!! It's a long happy story! I hope you're ready candy to read! It's sum of happy yet sad. it's going to be a really long post.. I hope you'll enjoy!

The first day of raya was a blast~!! However it's Lukewarm situation was that there is five things happened that saddens me. Firstly was that this was the 1st time we celebrated hari raya or eid mubarak without my beloved late father, papa. I missed him. Honestly, before i went to sleep the night before I cried and I thought of him. I wonder whether he is alright or not. I know it's not good but I missed him so much that I didn't want to celebrate raya at first. I know he is watching us and he wants us to be happy and just move on. Some how I know he is also angry at me for mistakes that I'd made. I really want to shake his hands and apologize for everything, every mistake, and every mishaps. I miss u. I hope you know, papa. Selamat hari raya aidilfitri, Maaf zahir dan batin, papa. I miss knowing that every morning of raya you'd be sitting down watching the news and waiting for all of us to ask for forgiveness. Mostly I'm missing knowing that last raya was the last I'd spent with you. I didn't even know it would be the last. I know I took you for granted some times, but deep down I know you know I love you. I'm sorry for everything.

Sorry candy, I'm actually crying writing this. It's the one place I'd feel the need too. Though, he is no longer here but by writing at least I can let go of some feelings. The feelings I didn't let go of yet. HUH~! Okayh! stop crying!!

2nd thing was that this morning I'd celebrate raya with my aunts and uncle. I only have one uncle on my mother's side, Uncle Mury. He is very funny and the reason why he'd make my raya sad is because he said something which touch my heart so bad and i felt the tears rolling down my eyes. He said "you should take care of your mother! Your the only one who can take care of her! No one else but you! Please take care of your mother!" really it hit me like lighting bolt! My late papa even said that! Not the whole words just that "take care of mama when I'm gone. Your the only one" I'm like OMG! don't say my uncle is leaving us?? He can't! I'm not the only crying!! Even mama is crying when she heard it! I only got to see him for 10-15 minutes, he had an appointment so he had to leave early, mama didn't want to let him go though. She loves him too. Candy, mama is also like me, she's the last of all her siblings. The baby sister, like me. Oh how I feel the pain. I'm the only one?? huh... ok..

3rd thing was that I didn't get to visit papa's grave! I'm at that part of the month. huhu so yeah, it sucked! All my siblings got to be with him, I didn't. So, jealousy is roaming!! huh!! I'm guessing my raya was bad at first but later I'll tell you the best part. I think it is.

4th thing was that I baked cookieeeesss!! Mama though "DIDNT LIKE IT!!!" because its hideous, ugly, not creative and NOT CREATIVE!! hahaha I'm not a pro so I didn't expect much but I guess mama was! She even yelled at me saying "did you see the vendors? Did you look at their cookies??" I'm like I know I know I know! Support me here pleasE! I'm new! Not a pro just say oh that's looks good or something. Don't push me down. It hurts! It stings! It bites! another reason why I didn't want to celebrate. huh...

5th thing was so easy!! I couldn't text my friends with raya message because I didn't have money to buy topup nor do i have topup to reply their text.. SOrry guys! SO instead, I reply or post on facebook.. hehe it's saves my money a bit.. I'm really broke you know!! but this raya really I didn't expect much. I guess it turns me wrong to judge first.

the great and good things!

Okay! So I'm going to begin with the waking hours till now! haha Was it a long post candy?? it's going to be longer. hahahaha I'm happy!! though sad inside.

Candy, I woke up thinking its raya! and I have to get ready and visit auntie banun. My alarms rang at 7am! for every 5 minutes it rang and rang and rang until I woke up at 9am.. hahaha! I'm terrible when it comes to sleeping! I'm addicted to sleeping! As usual, mama yells "if you don't wake up, you'd be left behind!" So I woke and got ready, then it hit me.. aren't i suppose to wear make up?? so I did, and this is how I look wearing make up. don't laugh!

hehe so okay after getting ready, I got downstairs and ate! I'm hungry for SOTO! in Malaysia, different houses have different types of food to serve for example my house we serve soto and lontong! delicious! so by 10-ish our whole family went to auntie banun. once there my auntie salmah was leaving because she has plans or visit others. She did the nicest thing, she gave me my 2nd ever zakat. The first one was my aunt along on papa's side of the family. She gave me a lot that I felt a bit strange to receive it. Zakat is a heritage in muslim. Every one needs to pay for zakat. It's a must! I can receive it because my category is I'm considered as an orphan. Her family gave me that money. It's awkward. but you can research about zakat on wikipedia. I'll give you the website for it, click on zakat. Then she left and my uncle mury also left. So we continue eating, I think this time I ate a lot! people are calling me fat! need to lose weight!! Then my auntie miah arrives with her family excluding her eldest daughter who is in kelantan. anyway, she brought wedding cards, my cousin is getting married! when will it be my turn?? oh.. abg rizal is also getting married! and i didn't speak to him for almost a year over! okayh! deep breath! jealousy..(GRRRR) I saw my cousin's sons and daughters. They are so cute! like little dumplings.. so cute! One baby was looking at me, it felt weird! haha then we left and went back home because adam pushes us. He wants to get some cash! his young.. he doesn't know.. :P when we arrive home, my auntie yang called saying she wants to come and I said okay, we're home already. So we hustle and prepare for her arrival. I was pretty tired and sleepy. I was happy because I got to see my cousins! Guess what?! They like my cookies! hahahaha I'm happy! heeee.... then we talked, watch some tv and then my aunt left she wanted to visit my papa's grave and my other siblings. OHH i forgot, kak sarti was also hear! My former nanny. She came last night to spend the night with us. She also left with auntie yang. So i'm left with the cleaning and sleepy!!! As we both (me and mama) cleans, we decided we're off to bed soon. Haha but we ate again.. :P then we wanted to go to sleep.. but I didn't I was online! SUDDENLY, my auntie timang called. She wants to see our new home. I was like I was suppose to be sleeping but oh okay while I'm still awake lets do this! So we both prepare again in full throttle, I think we're both tired but its guest. need to prepare! then, they arrived and brought cake! yum! to my shocked! they liked the whole food we served them, the soto, lontong, sambal ikan bilis and kek lapis was almost finish! CAput! though they are still others but what we served them is gone! Mama was happy! I was happy! and everyone was happy! they watched tv, a story about jet li as wong fei hong i think.. mama asked me "astro prima also have chinese movies??" all i said was I dunno maybe.. haha candy! My cookies was also a hit! most of my cousins like the french merengue! they said its like cotton candy.. around 7pm they left and i prepare to clean up again.. huhu imagine me being tired! to my shock again!! mama said we are going to visit auntie kamariah after isyak prayers! I was like okay.. as long as I didn't have to redo everything.. Then we went and met with her and her family, she's not my aunt but my former neighbor. When we first arrive, mama and auntie kamariah hugged like its 10 years they havent seen eachother! I was happy to see that. we got inside, her grand daughter umairah came and sat next to me! I was utterly afraid! I wasn't particularly close to children and i'm not that good with them but she was always next to me. hehe it made me happy. she likes me for some reasons. Mama and auntie kamariah talks while kak ruby prepares and then we ate again! :P but this time umairah sat next to me really close! auntie kamariah said that she's not close to anyone, even she felt awkward. Umairah was that close to me. mama said that she wanted to play with me, ohh she was such a beauty! I just want to take pictures of her. I dont have a camera! huhu her curly hair and foreign face. She is adorable! one highlight I think I like celebrating raya. It brings closeness to people or in malay we'd say "mengeratkan siratulrahim". So later, we visit mcdonald and ate again! and tadaaa... i'm here telling about it to u candy! haha I'm FATTT!!!!! GRRRRR!! tomorrow! no more food! it's time to go on a diet!!

i think ur sleepy candy! wake up! here's a picture of my familia

I'm guessing you might asked where's arif?? He is celebrating it with his family. However it might not be a celebration because his grandfather had died at 5am today on the first day of eid mubarak. So it wasn't a happy celebration. I know the feeling, so Al-fatihah to his late grandfather. I hope we all pray for his late grandfather and papa. Oh, another sad news from him. His grandmother on his father's side just got into a coma. I know. OMG. How can that be? It happens to most of us. There are families who just lost or had already lost their family members a few days before, its harder for them because they were expecting to celebrate it with eachother. I hope all those people have good strength, power and will to move one and be strong! I pray for all of them, the people we lost, the people they lost and the people in need. Al-fatihah.

To all my friends, cousins, uncles, family I wish you all
Selamat hari raya aidilfitri! maaf zahir dan batin!

Bye candy! nite!

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