Monday, August 2, 2010


Hello candy!

sometimes in life, you feel the most urges to love, to hold and to behold. Never in your life would you feel the benefit and disadvantages in life to come. You might overcome some challenges but in life truly, there will only be road bumps and humps but it all mostly be crossroads.

we learn to love at a very young age with the help of our parents emotion and devotion towards each other. We also learn to hate from them. I guess that's the nature of life, most people says that your parents may teach you stuff but most stuff they don't teach is the things we learn just by looking at them. My parent love each other thus I learn to love everything in life from them. Especially towards cats, animals and people. Respect and forgiveness. Sacrifices and sadness.

Most people forget that life can be cut short with a snap of a finger. They even forget who have that much power to take them. Actually candy, I'm in no mood for writing what happen in the past week. I'm certainly lost in translation right now. I felt as if a big gulp has stolen my life. I'm embarrassed, ashamed and I feel as if i'm going crazy! I don't know what to do or what to think. All I can think of is I'm scared and I'm alone. very much alone. There is no body in my life. just emptiness and sorrow.

I'm not sure if it's about papa or anything related but I'm in a place where I just want to be alone and i want no one. because no one wants to see me, talk to me or even spend time with me. I'm just ALONE!

You think, you love someone and you want to care for them but they doesn't want it in return. what does that mean?? why don't you want me to care for you? why don't you want me to worry for you? why? why? why? All i want is for you to be happy and safe, am i that troublesome?? am i a pressure in ur life?? i don't understand! seriously candy! I don't! I don't! I don't!

i don't even know what is wrong? what is happening?
candy, i've begin to cry again! it's just frustrating. i can't!
sorry. i guess i'm at that crossroad right now.

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