Sunday, June 6, 2010

Remembering Them We Lost

To Show honor and respect to those we love, I gave them my silence and i gave them my Prayers. In honor for those we love and lost, let's bring in the motion of not fighting and stop against war. Peace and no war should be declared, respect those who have once lived and left the world. Those who have sacrificed their live for the well being of others. Those who wanted peace in this world but never had the chance to made it. Also, to those who were abandoned, abused or tortured. Remember them in your mind and let them have their peace.

I'm sure some of you are going to ask yourself what am I saying?? Actually I really don't know but I felt an abundance of remorse and hurt, a sharp pain to my heart when I read the newspapers and watch the news. Just now, I watch the movie about Natalee Holloway. Oh my god! Why are there such people in the world? Do they act with the understanding of what they are going to lose? Everything?? I feel very hurt and burden by the fact that people would do such act. For fun or lust? Really? I can't say much because it is not my place to question them but have a bit of faith in the world. It is already destroyed with such incident. Sooner or later, everything will gone. The earth is crying and the mundane life of the humans would definitely be parish. Have a little faith. Have a little love. Have a little kindness.

In the news, I heard how the ship Rachel Corrie was taken to ashdod. I'm rather curious on why they did that? Even to the other ships, Why? What is it they are afraid of? Honestly, as a human if it was you, I think you would be angry too. Think about it, Your starving to death for food, shelter, cloth and getting warm but then suddenly someone took away your food? your shelter? you cloth? and your out there on your own with the world shivering in the cold, wet, muddy and laying on the brick and stones?? None of you would like that! None of you would want that! Everyone want to live in a wealthy home with luxury and expensive food with big cars and tons of money! Isn't that it? At least for some of these people who are suffering, they might at least like to have what they can have. A home, Food, Cloth and other thing to move on with their life. They need it too. Not just you, they want it too. They also want to live, to have a chance at life. Just think about it. Remember it.

I'm not going to continue more on it because it already hurts me so to say these next few things. Only one of them might seem rather pleasing, My mother and I went for walk or stroll at a Tasik or Pond near our home. It's fun actually to spend time with her and making her happy for once. It made me feel good to know that she wants to live a healthy and happy life. She is more hurt than I am but I want to be by her almost all the time. I want to protect her as I promised my father. She is my light, my joy, my happiness and of course she is my mother. The one who gave birth and life to me, to ensure I am happy, protected, well fed, educated, and of course alive. In return, I want to make her life easier and she might as well feel a little burden lesser than the usual. She is the only I have left that I love so much now. To be honest, I told arief that If I am like this with my father passing, I might go crazy or lost if my mother left me too.. It would devastate me! It would very much worsen my state of mind, my life, my point of view and my world would be crumbling down like earthquake. She is that important to me! THAT IMPORTANT!

Again, today i cried near my father's grave. It was unsuspected! I cried! I broke loose all those tears! I have lost my strength. I didn't know why i cried or when i started crying but when I finally realized it, it was to late. I feel ashamed because he might be watching over me and I sort of felt that He didn't want me to cry but be strong! Stronger than I can ever be! I said to him I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I am sorry! it hurt me so much! It hurt me so much to loose him, not to have him again. I didn't know why I was crying, I can't express my feelings for it, I can't say anything about it but I cried! For the first time since last week I cried! Just watching his grave made me cry. I know he is gone but it's just hard and I am crying while writing this NOW! I miss Papa So much!! I miss you SO much! I can't take it. It hurts!

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